I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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