I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
