NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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