I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
babies were throwing up all over the place
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
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I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
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Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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