ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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