dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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