He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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