I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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