Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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