Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
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