k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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