the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
