if you like me you must not know who I am
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize