addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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