I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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