Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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