I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
