Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
