How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize