i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
