You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Randomize
