Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize