I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
