dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
