Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
