Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
