finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
