About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
