the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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