yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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