I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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