It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
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