it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
