Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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