He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
