and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
