wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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