I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
