Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
