At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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