Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
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