Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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