I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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