dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
