is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
