no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
