wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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