oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
