therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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