I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
