Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize