Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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