yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
He? As in you personified your dick?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
