I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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