I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
