and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
