He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
