just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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