i just wanna soil my oats bro
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
