Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Randomize
