I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
