and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Betty ford says i'm here all night
I need to stop coming to work sober
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
